76. Notes App Poem #7
Something that came from the heart and the brain
I’m thinking of living
Of touching and seeing
Of holding out my palms
Of feeling
The hawk’s eyes on the squirrel
And the cat’s eyes on the hawk
And my eyes, on the hawk/cat/squirrel
And the tree branches swaying
The bark, the breathing
It’s just another day
I’ve been up for too long
And I’ve drunk some wine
And I’ve felt the chest of my lover
And I’ve felt the cold of the empty spot
On the borrowed bed, borrowed home, borrowed time
I’ve met the widows and the children
I’ve seen what’s leftover, once through the veil
Against the landscape, the dogwood blooms, the pond,
where the blue heron stands still, sharing the view
The petals falling
On the earth, settling
I’m trying to at least write something monthly for fotocopy, and it’s the last day of the month, so it still counts! Thank you to everyone who subscribed after issue 75, and everyone who’s been a reader since issue 1, or 15, or 45 (what I’m trying to say: all of them in general!) it means so much.
It’s been a weird month, especially the last two weeks in general. I want to write about it in depth later, so I’ll spare you all the details for now, but I’ve been feeling the weight of my world. I also haven’t been sleeping. I wrote this on an uber back to work, and was surprised at how accurately it captured my current inner-workings. That’s something I love about writing: it always tells me where I am, no matter how much I try to abstain from the feelings.
I read The Handmaid’s Tale for the first time, inspired by the tv show, The Testaments. I loved it! Sometimes I’m like, how good can this book everyone loves be? and then I read it, and I’m like, duh, Gaby! It’s a classic for a reason. I then read The Testaments, which is the direct sequel, and I was entertained, but ultimately disappointed. It read too much like fan-fic, but it did get me out of a reading slump. I’m now reading Miami by Joan Didion because I miss home. Didion’s writing about the middle-of-the-day rain showers really made me feel like I was there again.
I made this playlist, grocery store sushi, of stuff I’ve been listening to on repeat this month. Other notables this month are Lorde’s debut album, Pure Heroine, Courtney Barnett’s Creature of Habit, which is a perfect no skips album, and I’m so excited to see her play in May, and Ellen McIlwaine’s We The People. My two recs from the two latter albums: Mantis, which is a literal poem, and I Don’t Want to Play, which is the kind of tune that had me singing along immediately the first time I heard it
Finally, I costumed my FIFTH theatrical show, Euripides’ Medea for Deadword that opened this week! If you are in the Boston area, you should go. Tickets are here. I was very nervous to take this one on, and I’m extremely proud of my work. Go support local independent theatre!!
I’ve also been into gold jewelry, vegetarian quiche, and not letting the world’s cruelness get to me (sometimes it’s hard, but you gotta stay trying)
lots o’ love,
Gabo